Dear Roze:

I have no doubt that you’ve heard about the big debate on whether or not women should wear pantyhose or stockings in the office.  It’s been in the news on all the major TV networks and in major newspapers like the Wall Street Journal.  I’ve been in the working world for a long time and have definitely seen a more liberal stance with the dress code evolve over the years where I’ve been working.  But, I’ve given my notice and will be starting with a new employer after July 4th.  When I was at the office of my future employer for my interviews, I saw some women wearing pantyhose and some not.  I typically don’t wear them, but I’m torn as to how I should show up on my first day.  What do you think?  

-Hose or no hose  

Dear Hose or no hose:  

As I am sure you know, it is not unusual for individuals’ dress requirements at work to depend upon their positions in their organizations.  Thus, it is possible for an organization to only require those females in management positions to wear pantyhose.  That being said, you could contact your soon-to-be employer’s HR person or whoever oversees the organization’s dress code policy and request the requirements for your position.  Or you could just err on the side of caution, be conservative and report to work wearing pantyhose.  Then determine what is appropriate by observation of and discussion with your new colleagues.  

Dear Roze:

I’m planning to move from the northeast to Texas.  I was laid off from my management job in manufacturing.  I’ve decided to move to Texas because the cost of living is a lot less and the climate is more to my liking.  Through numerous Internet searches, I found a company that was looking for a new director because the current one has decided to be a stay-at-home mom.  It’s in a field that I have no experience in, but I have a lot of skills that I think are transferable for this position.  So, I sent my resume to the company and received an email back from the current director telling me that they had my resume and that I may get another email inviting me for an interview.  I got that email and was given a couple of weeks to get down there for it.  After getting everything lined up, I emailed the current director of the days I could be there.  She shocked me with her response.  Instead of confirming things, she emailed me that there are two people in their organization who are vying for the position and that she would totally understand if I changed my mind about coming such a long way for the interview since they couldn’t pay for any of my expenses.  I really got the feeling that she was trying to dissuade me from flying down there, but I’m not sure why.  I want to believe that she was trying to let me know that she understood if I decided not to come all that way because of how much it would cost.  Regardless of what her true motivation is, I can’t deny that it’s discouraging, but I wrote her back thanking her for the information and letting her know that I was looking forward to showing her and her colleagues why I’m right for the position.  It seemed like she wasn’t pleased with my response, but I really want this job and I really think I could do it very well.  So, I have my interview next week.  What do you think about my situation?

-Just give me a chance

Dear Just give me a chance:

I admire your drive and determination.  Ideally, the interviewers will feel the same way and you will be able to convince them that your background, capabilities, and character make you the perfect candidate for the director position. 

Best of luck!

Dear Roze:

I’m so tired of my co-workers expecting me to deliver every month just because I always do, but never acknowledging it.  It’s no exaggeration that I do more than anyone in our group.  I not only put forth the most effort, but I also bring in the most money and get our organization the most positive exposure.  There are a couple of guys who have occasionally let me know that they appreciate my efforts but they always tell me this in private.  They have never expressed their positive thoughts about my work in front of our co-workers or management.  For a while, it didn’t matter to me because I felt good just knowing I was doing a real good job, but it’s getting real old now.  It hurts to go unnoticed and basically not valued by those you work with everyday.  Don’t even ask me what I think management’s responsibility is in all of this.  I actually expect more from my work buddies.  Any thoughts?

-Feeling worthless

Dear Feeling worthless:

I understand how you feel, but it is important to be realistic versus idealistic when it comes to your expectations of those you work with.  Your main motivation needs to primarily come from within.  You cannot depend upon or expect your co-workers to acknowledge your work in private or public.  Self-satisfaction in knowing that you are putting forth your all is most important.  On a side note, it is often management who sets the example for such matters.  I know it is easier said than done, but hang in there!