Dear Roze:

I’m a senior stylist at an upscale hair salon.  I’m in my 40s and I’ve been in this business close to 20 years.  I think the owner of the salon should give me and the other senior stylists more deference than she does, but it’s so obvious that she only cares about herself and all the money she can make.  She charges us the same fees she charges the newer stylists, but it should be considerably less.  We have a proven track record, whereas the new guys and gals understandably do not.  We have all thought about going to another salon or even opening up our own, but those things are a lot easier to think and talk about than putting them into reality.  We’re all tired of being treated like novices and not being appreciated for the great work and reputation we have with our clients, AND we’re very sick of not making all the money we should be making.  

-Deserving of more

Dear Deserving of more:

Although it makes perfect sense for your boss to recognize and take care of her experienced employees, it sounds like she has lost sight of these sound principles.  Philosopher Voltaire’s famous quote comes to mind, “Common sense is not so common.” 

I suggest that you and your colleagues come up with a well thought-out plan that can benefit all of you and your employer.  Several of you should present it to her in a respectful, non-confrontational way.  If she is not receptive, you and your colleagues should seriously reconsider working at another salon.  There is power in numbers, so the impact of your departure from the salon will be greater if more than one of you leave.  Typically, clients of a good hair stylist will follow their hairstylist as long as the location of his/her new place of work does not create a problem for them.

Best of luck! 

Dear Roze:

What nerve this guy has to contact me!  He was laid off from his job and wants my help with contacts and any insight I may have that will help him find another one.  It irks me to no end because a while back I had put a call into him.  I had a couple of questions for him about a certain leader in our industry, and you know what?  He never returned my call.  Now, he’s obviously desperate and has left me this very nice message requesting my help.  I really can’t believe he has the guts to reach out to me.  I’m pretty sure you’re going to tell me that I should do for him what he didn’t do for me – be the bigger person, but I have a VERY hard time with that advice.  Help!

-Unnerved by request

Dear Unnerved by request:  

You obviously are familiar with my strong belief in The Golden Rule .  That being said, I recommend that you contact the guy with the best of intentions.  Calmly let him know that you did not appreciate his lack of response to the call you made to him seeking business information, and depending upon his reaction, you can decide how you will respond to his request. 

Dear Roze:

I have a colleague I respect tremendously.  She is not only very good at her job but she has a whole lot of smarts and insight into our line of work.  She brings a dimension to our department that no one else does.  I think some of our co-workers find it hard to work with her because she’s pretty intense and always gives everything 200%.  I don’t think it’s deliberate, but I think others feel inferior to her.  She remembers everything that people say and do.  Right now we have a situation where a couple of the guys we work with are ignoring her requests for information on a project that we have all worked on.  Most of us work in different locations, so most of our communications are via phone and email.  She’s confided in me about her disappointment in these guys, and I can’t blame her.  She, more than anyone else, has a right to any information dealing with this project.  I wasn’t sure what I should have said to her.  I told her that I was sorry and understood where she was coming from, but now I’m wondering if I should have offered to say something to those guys on her behalf, but I really think she can stand up for herself.  I don’t think these two guys realize how they’re hurting themselves and our whole team by not responding to her requests.  I really don’t think she’s going to take much more.  She’s insinuated that she’s thinking about asking for a transfer and that would be such a blow to our department.  Your thoughts?

-Want to help gifted colleague

Dear Want to help gifted colleague:

Although I am sure your colleague can and should fight her own battles, I see no reason why you cannot also address the matter without it appearing like you are defending her.  Just be smart about it.  If you sense that this situation still exists the next time you communicate with her, then when you come into contact with one or both of the guys, ask about the status of the project.  Create an opportunity for them to state how they feel about your colleague, so you can set them straight as to the negative impact of their attitude and behavior.  Also suggest to her that she have a frank discussion with these guys.  Most likely she is well aware of the importance of her doing what she can do to remedy the situation before requesting a transfer.  She needs to be upfront with them – the way she wants and expects them to be with her. 

Good luck!