Dear Roze:

I have what I would call a full-time job and on the side I make wedding cakes.  Wedding cakes are my passion, but I’ve never had enough business to give up my full-time job to just concentrate on the cakes.  Recently, a woman I’ve known for a few years asked me if I would make her wedding cake. I offered to do it for free because I knew that she and her fiancé have a lot of bills.  I figured it would be my gift to her.  After I made the offer, she told me that she wanted me to make a cake she had seen on the web and that the number of people coming had increased from 120 people to 160.  The cake on the web is quite complicated.  It’s going to take me longer than what I had in mind to make, and the extra 40 guests will increase my costs for ingredients quite a bit.  I really feel like she’s taking advantage of me.  I’m worried I’m going to get another email from her telling me that there will be more guests.  You see, her dad is the minister of the church and they’ve given out a blanket invitation to the entire congregation.  This has really gotten out of hand, but I’m not sure what, if anything, I should say to her.

-Icing on the cake in a bad way

Dear Icing on the cake in a bad way:

It is all in the presentation.  I suggest that you have a heart-to-heart with the bride.  Caringly explain what you can and cannot do for her.  Hopefully, she will be graciously appreciative of your thoughtful gift. 

Dear Roze:

A guy that just started working here let everyone know during one of our monthly meetings that he could get certain information from a couple of companies that I had tried to get but was unable to do so.  He made a point of saying that it’s all about having good relationships with the right people.  I have no problem agreeing with him about the importance of relationships and accepting that he may know needed people as well or better than I do.  And if he can get the information, props to him.  But at our next meeting, he made no mention of the info he guaranteed us he could get, and we need it for a company event that’s in less than ten days.  A couple of my colleagues said I should have called him out on his claims since he made such a big deal of what he could do at my expense.  Although I felt a bit uncomfortable with the way he said what he said, I’m not that bothered because everyone knows how hard I work and that I’m a major producer.  And I’m also not completely surprised that he hasn’t delivered.  The job isn’t as easy as it may seem.  It really would have been a good thing if he could have come through.  I’m just not sure how to handle this.  Do I put him in his place?  Do I just move on and not say a word?  What do you think I should do?

-Where are your results?

Dear Where are your results?:

Two things are evident – One, the ultimate goal is for critical information to be gathered for your organization, and two, you have a good work reputation.  Recognizing these two important givens, I doubt that you would accomplish anything by either putting your colleague on the spot about his promises during one of the monthly meetings, or by not addressing the matter at all.  I suggest that you have a one-on-one with your new colleague to determine the status of his efforts.  Hopefully, you will find that having a respectful discussion with him in private will be effective in more ways than one.

Dear Roze:

I have to go to a meeting and present the position of my boss because he says he won’t be working the day of the meeting.  I offered to get the date changed, but he told me not to bother, to just attend it and give his position.  I’m ticked off because he knows that I don’t agree with his position.  He should be there but there’s nothing I can do about it.  I’m so sick of dealing with mess like this. 

Boss plans to be a no-show

Dear Boss plans to be a no-show:

I understand why your boss’s behavior frustrates you.  That being said, even though you are responsible for giving his position on the matter, you can also express your opinion, as long as you express both sides in the same manner - calmly and professionally.

Good luck!  Hang in there!