Dear Roze:

I work at a country club as a dining room server. Every third Thursday of the month, we have a special event called "Martinis with the Manager" where members can come out and drink for free! It is a very busy day and a day we all resent working. I’m a college student and recently had two tests on one of those days, which made it impossible for me to work. So I tell my supervisor to not put me on the schedule for that reason, and he tells me to call my manager the next day to let him know. Well, I call him, and I leave a message telling him that I can't work. So he calls me from his cell phone, and immediately starts cursing at me, telling me “… that’s bulls**t.”

The first thing that goes off in my mind is, “Whoa, my boss is cursing me out, this is absurd." He repeatedly tells me that it’s bulls**t that I have two tests that day, and also bulls**t that I'm taking the rest of the weekend off. He tells me to give him a “flipping” break and that I will need to show him documentation in two weeks after I come back. So to summarize, he curses at me, accuses me of lying, and suspends me.

To give you some background information, the boss who suspended me has the title Food & Beverage Manager. My supervisors don't have any formal titles, they just have seniority, and the wait staff usually reports to them, so we refer to them as our supervisors. In the chain of delegation, they are under the F&B Manager. To my knowledge, we do not have an HR person. I have a great relationship with the supervisors. I have worked with them for about four years now. The F&B Manager has only been here for about 1.5 years. He's a terrible manager who does completely nothing. He merely has a title and goes on a power trip. My supervisors are the real bosses; they make the schedule.

I felt very threatened by my boss’s words and feel that this is in no sense right and just for him to do. I did actually talk to one of my supervisors about this incident, and he just told me to leave it alone, and that he would talk to my boss about it. I think that I will not take any further actions as of this moment, but I did tell my supervisor that if it happened again, I would most likely try to take further actions. I am actually going to take my suspension with no just cause, and return to work in about a week from today. Hopefully things at work will not be difficult to endure. If you can find out what actions I may be entitled to take, for future reference, I will greatly appreciate it.

My sister is a regional recruiter and knows about employment laws and tells me to call the EEOC. What is your opinion on this?

-The wrongfully accused college student in TX

Dear The wrongfully accused college student in TX:

Your boss’s behavior was neither professional nor fair, but it did not violate any of your employment rights enforced by the U. S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. I contacted attorney Melissa A. Moore with Moore & Associates (http://www.mooreandassociates.net), a law firm in Houston, TX, to explain the law behind my opinion. Ms. Moore specializes in labor and employment law. She provided the following information:

“Unlike many other states, Texas operates under a strict “at will” employment doctrine. The Texas Supreme Court has repeatedly supported and reinforced that doctrine, which states that, except for very limited circumstances, either party may terminate the employment relationship for “a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all.” Tex. Farm Bureau Mut. Ins. Co. v. Sears, 84 S.W.3d 604 (Tex. 2002); Fed. Express Corp. v. Duschmann, 846 S.W.2d 282, 283 (Tex. 1993). The Court has been very reluctant to impose any new common-law duties, such as good faith and fair dealing that would alter or conflict with the at-will employment relationship. City of Midland v. O’Bryant, 18 S.W.3d 209 (Tex. 2000).

Essentially, this means that an employee may quit his job at any time for a good reason, a bad reason, or no reason at all. Likewise, an employer has the identical freedom to terminate the employment relationship at any time for any reason, except the few prohibited reasons that do not sound applicable to this gentleman’s situation. Consequently, many employees are treated unfairly, but the behavior does not rise to a level of a violation of the law.

Therefore, the requirement of this person to work during inconvenient hours, in addition to the rude and abusive treatment, is not necessarily against the laws of the State or even the Federal anti-discrimination laws. The only way that rude and abusive treatment might be considered discriminatory is if the supervisor is giving preferential treatment to one group over another group due to race, gender, etc.”

Hopefully, since you wrote me, one of the seasoned supervisors has discussed the matter with your boss and he realized and acknowledged his reaction to your situation was in no way the right way to respond.

Dear Roze:

I really need your help. I guess you could say that I have a good problem, but it’s a very difficult one too. I was selected for a new job that I’ve wanted for a long time. This new job will give me the opportunity to work for one of my old bosses in a new department who I always liked working for in the past. She has guaranteed me a raise shortly after I take the job and my commute should be cut by 10 to 15 minutes, which is a big deal since I have an hour commute now. I also feel that I know what I’m getting into if I go work for her. And she knows my personal situation and she’s willing to work with me with regard to the juggling I often have to do for my elderly father and son. The dilemma came about when the big boss from where I work now heard that I was selected for this new job. He told me that he wants to create a new job for me that will also have the potential for a raise that is equal to the one I’m going to get with the other department. He also let me know that I would work for him, not my current boss, and I really don’t know anything about him even though I have worked in this department for over 9 years, so I’ve developed a super reputation with everyone here, but in the other new place, I only know my old boss - no one else knows me and my old boss has told me that she’s planning on retiring in 18 months.

I’m so mentally exhausted trying to decide what I should do. I’m very flattered that both departments want me. I see the pros and cons to both. Tell me which one you think I should take.

-Dealing with good dilemma in N. VA

Dear Dealing with good dilemma in N. VA:

Congratulations on having such a tough but great dilemma! As much as I would like to tell you what I think you should do, it really is something you have to decide for yourself. Only you can figure out which job is going to fit better/mesh with your priorities. That being said, I have no doubt that if you take the job with your old boss, you will develop solid work relationships with the other members of that department and maintain your excellent reputation.

Best of luck!

Dear Roze:

It’s obvious that a colleague of mine deliberately ignored an email I wrote to him that included important questions about some cost figures of a major project we both worked on. When we had the chance to talk face-to-face about a month after I sent him the email, I asked him why he didn’t answer my cost figure questions. He denied ignoring my request. He claimed that he just forgot about it. He said that when he got the email he didn’t respond because he didn’t have the info I was requesting, and when he finally got the info, he just forgot to send it to me. I really find that very hard to believe and I’m sure he could see that in my facial expressions. He knows that everyone working on the project should get this critical information, but he and I haven’t been in sync with the project’s costs. This really bothers me because he sure pushes when he needs info from me and he never has a problem answering my questions dealing with other complicated issues that we agree on. I’m really disappointed in him. He’s made it so that I can’t trust him like I used to, and I don’t know if I ever will.

-Email blow-off in VA Beach

Dear Email blow-off in VA Beach:

I understand the doubts you have with your colleague’s integrity. I respect you for addressing the matter with him and for making it clear that you have a problem with his behavior. I suggest that you always keep a record of your contacts with this person, reflecting all your efforts as well as his actions or the lack thereof.