/ Workplace Woes - Roze Knows

01:10 PM EST on Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Dear Roze:

I can’t believe my luck. I’m like a little kid when it comes to Christmas and my company just transferred me to a department where the department head won’t allow a holiday party because he thinks employees would spend too much time putting it together and talking about it instead of getting our work done. Scrooge-like, wouldn’t you say? I think he’s made a broad assumption. He should give us a chance and let us know what he expects and see if we can work within those guidelines. I know it’s too late for any celebration to take place this year, but I’d like to push for a 2007 party and I’d like to bring it up real soon, so we can get a decent place before they’re all taken. I realize that I need to be careful when I try to talk to my new boss, so I don’t get on his wrong side. Do you agree and if so, how should I approach Mr. “Bah-Humbug”?

-Where’s the Holiday Spirit?

Dear Where’s the Holiday Spirit?:

I understand your desire to have a holiday party with your coworkers and your concerns with the approach you take with your new boss. Recognize that his ban on such festivities is most likely due to something that has happened in the past. Before discussing the matter with him, I suggest that you do your homework and determine the history of any party planning that has occurred in your new department or under the supervision of this manager. Hopefully, your findings will assist you in the formulation of your request.

Approach your boss during the first quarter of next year. Bringing it up before the end of this year may guarantee you a negative response. When you have your meeting, give him a brief but thorough document that delineates all the action items required, the individuals who will address each one, and a reasonable timetable for accomplishing each one.

Dear Roze:

I’m retiring in just a few weeks. The person taking over my duties has known this for at least four months, but we’ve known each other for almost my entire career. We’re actually quite good friends. We do lunch quite a bit and have even socialized outside of work. Since she was selected to take over my responsibilities, I’ve been very available and have gone over lots of material with her, but now she’s freaking out about my departure and is demanding that I be at her beck and call all day, everyday and has even told me that she wants me to meet her at the office over some weekends. I’ve ignored her weekend requests. She’s the kind of person that is basically all about herself. She could care less about all that I’m dealing with as my 28+-year career ends in the next 20 days. I’ve always done the right thing in my job but I also need to take care of me. And of course, this is the holiday season, so I also have more obligations outside of work than usual this time of year. Like I said, my colleague has had more than enough time to get up to speed with everything. At this point, I prefer not to deal with her, because, if I do deal with her, something tells me I will lose it. Any ideas?

-Focused on Retirement

Dear Focused on Retirement:

It is understandable that you have a lot going on with your pending retirement and the holiday season, and, as I am sure you know, communication is always paramount. I suggest that you have an open, respectful one-on-one meeting with your colleague. First, let her know that you are confident in her ability to take over your responsibilities and appreciative of her understanding what you are experiencing as you start this new chapter in your life. Then let her know that you will be available as much as your schedule will allow, but with less than three weeks before your departure, your time is very limited.

Dear Roze:

I’ve got a colleague who I consider to be a very good friend. She recently got divorced and seems to have no problem flirting with the married guys we work with. I’ve known her for a long time and I’m not sure if she has taken one of these relationships further than is appropriate. I’ve thought about talking to her but then I think I should just mind my own business because she’s old enough to know better. I go back and forth because I know that I would want someone, including her, to talk to me if I was behaving stupid, but that’s me. What do you think?

-Concerned about Flirty Colleague

Dear Concerned with Flirty Colleague:

The situation you have presented is a sticky one. You know your colleague and the strength of the relationship you have with her. Hence, you know best whether or not it can withstand your input concerning her conduct with her male coworkers. Whether or not you broach the subject with her, she is fortunate to have such a thoughtful friend.