/ Workplace Woes - Roze Knows

02:53 PM EST on Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Dear Roze:

I’ve always been considered a great employee. I’m a good team player, but I recently got a new boss and I can tell that he doesn’t think the comments and feedback I give him are positive or constructive. It makes me think that when he asks for my participation and input, it’s just lip service. It seems like it’s either his way or no way. How do I deal with this?

-Communication Problems in Norfolk

Dear Communication Problem in Norfolk:

I applaud you for wanting your boss to perceive you as a contributor versus a complainer and a whiner. Give him the benefit of the doubt. When he says that he wants your input, he most likely does, but your method of delivery is critical.

Consider the following tips when you disagree with your boss:

• Pick your battles

• Focus on the points of an issue that really matter

• Be sure to leave your emotions at the door

• Include constructive suggestions that support your position

Dear Roze:

Okay, my coworkers and I see nothing wrong with women wearing dresses or skirts without stockings or pantyhose. The new look in women’s fashion is to go sans but to make sure your legs are tan, have some color. The company we work for added a clause to the dress code, requiring female employees to wear stockings or panty hose with their dresses and skirts. Can my employer have such a mandate? Is this against the law? We want the policy changed. What would you do if you were in our shoes?

-Distressed over Dress Code in Hampton

Dear Distressed over Dress Code in Hampton:

Your employer can stipulate what employees should and should not wear in the workplace. Your employer’s dress code policy concerning stockings and panty hose is not a violation of the law. I would pick my battles wisely, and this is not one that I would choose to fight.

Dear Roze:

When will managers fully understand that when something work-related happens to one of their employees, it doesn’t just affect that employee’s work life? The employee doesn’t stop hurting and being angry once he or she walks out the door and enters his or her personal life? Negative things that happen at work bleed into every part of a person’s life.

Unfortunately, I’m in a situation where my work life has been a living hell. A series of incidents occurred that have made me hate going to work. My supervisor and my supervisor’s boss have told me that I’ve done nothing wrong but nothing has been fixed. Things that are way out of my control (management and politics) seem to be making it so the situation is being handled by not being handled. I was told that I would know something after things are thoroughly looked into. That was a month ago and I haven’t heard a word. When I see my boss, he doesn’t mention the situation. I really think he’s not going to do a thing. I think he’s just hoping all will be forgotten if enough time goes by, but there’s no way I can or will ever forget about this mess. Any suggestions on what I should do? Even though I don’t think it’s appropriate for me ask my boss what’s going on, I feel like he owes me some info.

-A Living Hell in and out of Work

Dear A Living Hell in and out of Work:

I suggest that you take the initiative and calmly and respectfully ask your boss for an update on the situation. Based on what you have conveyed to me, it appears that you have every right to do so and nothing to lose if you do. Hopefully, your boss will be empathetic and responsive. If he does not have any information for you, your inquiry will motivate him to obtain some much-deserved answers for you. Good luck!