Dear Roze:
A co-worker of mine, who is also a real good friend, is retiring at the end of this year. Because of some unfortunate behavior of his former immediate supervisor and upper management’s handling of the situation, this guy basically "checked out" and hasn’t been himself since. He was so angry and hurt by the events that he lost respect for our organization and for those he felt didn’t do the right thing. Now, with his retirement fast approaching, people want to have a party of some kind for him, but he has told me for many months that he wants nothing. I believe him. He’s not the kind of guy that would say that and not mean it. But I’m concerned that weeks, months, or years later, he’s going to look back and wish he had had something. Should I ignore what he has said and move forward with a party?
-Celebrate or not:
Dear Celebrate or not:
I suggest that you have a heart-to-heart with your co-worker. Explain that you are concerned that he may regret not having any type of celebration for this milestone in his life at some point in time. If he remains steadfast with his decision, honor it.
Dear Roze:
A buddy in my department was put in charge of our department, making him my boss and subsequently, making my life a living hell. It wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t a micromanager, but he’s turned into a control freak, hovering and criticizing everything I do, even though he had nothing but praise for my work before his promotion. I’ve tried joking with him about it, but it’s done no good. I’m about to lose it on him. Any suggestions?
-Frustrated with buddy’s micromanaging
Dear Frustrated with buddy’s micromanaging:
Recognizing that you cannot change your friend’s management style, it is important for you to figure out why he is micromanaging and what you can do to minimize it. Oftentimes, a person’s micromanaging has something to do with him/her, not the effected party. Have a one-on-one with him. Make sure he knows you are working with him, not against him. You do not want to put him on the defensive. Communicate your sincere interest in meeting his expectations, and ask if there is anything he would like you to do differently.
Dear Roze:
I’m a first line supervisor and have been having insubordination issues with my executive assistant for over a year. I’ve kept my boss aware of most everything. An isolated incident may not seem like a big deal, but all of them paint an ugly picture of a problem employee. My boss decided she had heard enough from me, didn’t know what to do except to remove the woman from my supervision and schedule each of us with HR. I can’t believe she didn’t support me and reprimand the assistant. Now, I have no administrative support and have to meet with HR. What do I say to HR?
-Fuming on the west coast:
Dear Fuming on the west coast:
Such a situation is complicated and can be seen from different perspectives, depending upon who is looking at it. That said, it is unusual for management not to take the side of management. You should examine this matter as objectively as possible. Take ownership for what you may have done to have contributed to it, and even ask another colleague or two for their honest opinion(s) as to your role in the matter. When you first meet with the individual from HR, tell him/her of your self-examination and your actions and attitudes that could have contributed to the conflict. Then, calmly and professionally provide a brief overview of the assistant’s contributing behavior and attitude.
© 2009 Rozanne R. Worrell
