I’ve got a major gripe. I am so sick of the way people don’t respond to my emails that obviously require a response, but when they want something from me, they not only have no reservation emailing me for my assistance, but they expect a very prompt response. I am always professional and try to conduct myself accordingly, but there’s a big part of me that has no desire to help these people out. I’d like to email them a rhetorical question that asks them how they have the gall to make their requests when they’ve ignored my communications. It really amazes me how people can be so inconsiderate and self-centered! I’m torn in that I’ve had enough of being used but deep down I know I can’t be shortsighted.
Sick of double standard
Dear Sick of double standard:
In as much as I can empathize with your feelings, I must suggest that you follow The Golden Rule. You are so right in recognizing the peril of being shortsighted. It is important for us to lead by example and do the right thing by practicing what we preach. Respectfully respond to the email communications. Hopefully your responsiveness will be contagious. Hang in there and best of luck!
I offered a co-worker some help with his project because I realized he was in need of some assistance with the technical part of it. I had just successfully finished up a project that required very similar technical support. He told me he didn’t need any help, but the very next day he asked another guy in our department for some technical help. I know he’s not buddies with the guy and I know the guy doesn’t have the technical experience or knowledge I have. I’ve always had a feeling that this co-worker has never liked me and this incident has cemented that notion for me. I have no idea why he may feel this way, but I’d like to find out why if it is in fact true. I’m thinking the best way to do this is to be direct and ask him in person about it. What do you think?
Feeling disliked by co-worker
Dear Feeling disliked by co-worker:
It is important not to read too much into your co-worker’s actions, especially if you have no prior history indicating that he would have any ill will towards you. If you are unable to move on until you have the opportunity to talk to him, be sure not to be overly aggressive with your inquiry. Casually ask him how his project is going. Then mention that you noticed he had someone else in your office help him with the technical portion of it, and you were wondering why he did not take you up on your offer for help. He may be genuinely surprised by your concerns and tell you nothing was meant by him seeking help from someone else. But also be prepared to hear something you may not want to hear, which could be a confirmation of your impression of his feelings or an insincere dismissal of your feelings.
© 2012 Rozanne R. Worrell