I was mortified when I had to hear from a co-worker I didn’t get a promotion I and one other guy put in for. When my co-worker called to tell me he was sorry I didn’t get it, he quickly realized by my reaction I didn’t know. I asked him how he heard about it and he said he saw it in an all-employee email from our General Manager (GM). I, obviously, had not read that email. Why wouldn’t the GM give me the courtesy of a call, come by my desk, or just ask me to come by his office to give me the news before he shared it with the rest of the office? My desk is probably no more than 150 feet from his office. This is management 101! Having worked here for over 20 years, I didn’t think anything could surprise me anymore, but this has blown me away. I’m writing to you because I’m seriously thinking about giving the GM a piece of my mind and educating him on what a decent boss would have done. With the amount of time I have in, I can retire if I have to. What do you think?
Shocked by boss’s insensitivity
Dear Shocked by boss’s insensitivity:
First, it pained me to hear what happened to you. Unfortunately, just because someone is in a position of authority, there is no guarantee he/she is qualified to do the job. Second, it is obvious you not only want the GM to know or be reminded of how he should have handled this situation, but you also want to give him a what-for. Although I do not blame you for wanting to do the latter, you need to think about whether or not you want to go there and possibly lose control over when you retire. And third, oftentimes, it can be beneficial to get things off our chests; to let others know how their actions have affected us even though we know our direct communications will not change what has already occurred.
From a professional, common sense perspective, if you choose to speak to the GM, you will get the best results if you address the matter in a respectful way. However, it would be naive of you to think you will be guaranteed a warm, positive reception. So much depends on the personality and nature of the GM. Just knowing he chose not to give you a heads-up about the other guy getting the promotion before he sent out the general announcement speaks volumes. Therefore, you can also choose to say nothing at all, realizing nothing positive will come from it because of the type of person he is.
Best of luck with whatever you decide to do!
I’ve had it! I feel like the woman who is supposed to be my best work friend never seems to have time for me unless she needs my advice or help with something. I wouldn’t mind it so much if she seemed to take an interest in my work. Even though I’ve about had it, there’s a part of me that still believes she’s a good person and may not realize how much I’m hurt and feel used. But then I think she’s aware of what she’s doing because she’s always apologizing for not being available, claiming she has a hard time juggling everything and has always been terrible at time management. I can sympathize, but it’s hard to accept her excuses over and over again because when she wants my help with something, she’s available for lunch; coffee; coming in early; staying late; or talking from home. You name it; whatever it takes to get me to review her work or provide suggestions on a particular matter, she has all the time in the world. I’m over it! Help!
Dear Over it!:
I can empathize with you. Oftentimes, people will take your thoughtful behavior for granted unless you rein them in. You have to be willing to stand up for yourself and have an open and honest discussion with this individual, letting her know exactly how you feel about the way she treats you. If she is the “best work friend” you think she is, she will accept responsibility for her selfish behavior and make a concerted effort to change. But if you choose to say nothing, you are not giving this person the opportunity to do the right thing and your resentment over her actions will eventually destroy whatever is left of the relationship.
© 2013 Rozanne R. Worrell