Employee angered by two-faced coworker

Employee angered by two-faced coworker

Employee angered by two-faced coworker

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by Rozanne "Roze" Worrell

WVEC.com

Posted on August 14, 2012 at 2:48 PM

Dear Roze:

I’m conflicted.  My boss told me about some things a co-worker said about me, none of which were true.  Although his remarks were petty and my boss told me she didn’t believe them, I’m ticked off because this co-worker always acts like he’s a friend to my face.  I realize my relationship with this guy started on shaky ground because he applied for the position I’m currently in.  When my boss told me what this guy said about me, she also told me to keep it to myself.  I, of course, want to confront this guy on his lies but that would go against my boss’s instructions and I don’t want to do anything that would risk losing the trust she has in me.  Any thoughts or suggestions?

Lies don’t fly with me

Dear Lies don’t fly with me:

Most definitely you could jeopardize the relationship you have with your boss if you confronted your co-worker without your boss’s knowledge.  Nevertheless, I am a firm believer in being respectfully direct and addressing such issues at the get-go in hopes of nipping them in the bud.  I suggest you go to your boss and calmly explain why you want to talk to your co-worker and how you want to do it in a non-confrontational manner.  Request either a joint meeting amongst the three of you or permission to address the matter on your own.  Hopefully, your boss will be impressed with your professionalism and desire to be proactive and agree to one of your requests.  Best of luck!

Dear Roze:

I don’t think there’s a thing that can be done about my work dilemma, but I need to vent.  I started my own business over five years ago, and just learned that a relative by marriage that lives less than an hour away from me is doing something very similar.  I don’t interact with this guy, but we are both close to family members who are well aware of this situation.  It appears that none of the family sees anything wrong with this but me and my spouse.  I can’t help but feel that if it had been me copying his business idea, I would have been persona non grata.  I’m well aware of that old saying, “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”   I’ve tried not to get so angry by reminding myself of this saying but it’s not helping.  Sadly, we haven’t seen each other in a few years because of a family disagreement, so confronting him isn’t an option. 

Takes a lot of gall

Dear Takes a lot of gall:

I not only understand what you are dealing with but can actually relate to it.  Ideally, your relative should have come to you to discuss what he wanted to do before he actually did it.  In as much as I am a firm believer in dealing with such issues head-on, I know how family dynamics can prevent that from happening.  You did not give any indication of this, but I sincerely hope this person’s business is not hurting yours.  If it is, you should voice your concerns.  I cannot help but wonder how this relative would feel if the roles were reversed.  If people followed The Golden Rule, such situations would rarely come about.

I wish you much success with your business!

© 2012 Rozanne R. Worrell

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