NORFOLK-Parents find themselves having to discipline their child, so it's important to discipline effectively.
CHKD parent educator Michele Tryon has these tips:
Tip 1: Discipline Means to Guide or Teach.
• Discipline comes from the same Latin root word as disciple.
• As disciplinarians we guide and teach our children.
• When we provide discipline for children we provide the structure and routine that they need in order to make positive choices while they are learning about the world.
• It is our job to teach and model the skills that our children need to be successful and self-reliant.
• Self-reliant children have learned that they are capable, and that a parent can be counted on to offer support and guidance when needed.
Tip 2: Respond to Your Child and Teach. Don’t React.
• Respond versus react means that you will make the conscious effort to calm yourself and think. Ask yourself, “What do I want my child to learn and is what I am doing teaching that? Is it teaching anything else and if so what can I do differently.”
• If a parent is reacting to a child’s misbehavior by yelling or arguing with a child, the child is learning that yelling and arguing are appropriate ways to get your needs met.
• If a parent responds to a child’s “misbehavior” in a calm manner, and provides opportunities to make amends and think through another way to handle a situation, the child learns to take responsibility.
• The child learns it is ok to make mistakes and the child learns a new skill to use in the future.
Tip 3: Self-reliance is a critical key for children in today’s world where self- indulgence seems to be the norm.
• When we teach our children how to think for themselves, rather than to “do what their told” we actually give them the tools to be successful in situations where they are pressured by peers, the media, or even adults who don’t have their best interest in mind.
• We can make a case for being self-disciplined rather than self-indulgent. If a child has a parent who can show self-discipline by remaining calm and modeling positive skills, the child can learn to remain calm and think through situations themselves.
• They are much more likely to make positive choices if they feel capable and supported.
Parents can learn “How to Raise Self-Reliant Children in a Self-indulgent World” at CHKD’s Kohl’s Cares Family Forum with author Dr. Jane Nelsen, Tuesday, September 25, 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at the Hilton Garden Inn in Suffolk.
To register, go to the CHKD Website.